Running From You Is What My Best Defense Is
by Jubilation Bells
Summary: Just a one shot of Spencer and Toby in the motel. Takes place in between the two scenes that we saw in the finale.


AN: Just a Spencer/Toby one-shot that takes place in between the two motel scenes that we saw in the finale, picks up at the end of the first scene. Inspiration based on the song "Poison" By Groove Coverage. I do not own the characters or the plot.

* * *

_I want to love you but I better not touch_

_I want to hold you but my senese tell me to stop_

_I want to kiss you but I want it too much_

_I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

* * *

"You still don't trust me?" He asks desperate for an answer other than the one he anticipated.

"Look, I understand why you've been helping Mona," she tells him still unable to look him directly in the eyes, "I made the same decision. But if I saw you hurting the way I know you saw me." she stopped herself right there knowing that if she spoke anymore she would start bawling uncontrollably.

"Toby," she began once she gained back some control over her emotions.

He too was avoiding making eye contact with her. But at that moment he looked up and saw tears pooling up in his eyes. She almost immediately lost her train of thought on what she was about to say to him. It suddenly hit her that she _hadn't _seen him hurting, or at all for that matter. Up until now she had no idea how any of this was affecting him. It was then that she knew that this could not have been any easier for him. All of the guilt that he felt over everything he did all read clear in his face. As much as she wanted to hate him for everything he had done to her, her heart melted when she saw the raw emotion he was showing her right now giving her no choice but to forgive him.

_I have no idea where my head was at, but if my heart says 'I'm sorry' can we leave it at that?_

Still at a loss for words with tears in her eyes, she walked over to him and gently wiped the tears from beneath his eyes. It comforted him in a way that only she could do. For the first time truly making eye contact, neither of them needed to say anything. There were no spoken words that could have expressed the emotions going through both of them at that moment. Then, as it came so naturally for the two of them, he pulled her in for a soft but passionate kiss.

Once they pulled away from one another, there were still no words that either of them could say to express their feelings, and no words were needed. She moved to the foot of the bed where she was seated next to him and for several minutes they just held each other, taking in what they had both missed so much over the past few weeks.

After some time had passed, Spencer was the first one to break the silence, "I should probably go," she said quietly as her conscious thought took over.

He looked up at her for a moment. "You don't have to," he finally said. She just looked at him unsure of what to do or say next. "You can stay here," he pleadingly suggested.

She thought about it briefly. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea," She finally managed to whisper.

There was no mystery behind her hesitation, he knew exactly why it was a bad idea. But he was not ready to let this night with her end, and deep down, neither was she. "Please," he nearly whispered as his voice cracked trying to hold back tears once again.

She knew it was a bad idea. In her head she could think of a million reasons why she should leave and go home right now. But what was home anymore? She had felt less at home anywhere she went in the past few weeks than ever before. As she was still deep in thought, he leaned in to kiss her one more time. She kissed him back and eventually agreed.

They continued kissing more aggressively for several minutes longer both wanting and needing more but neither wanting to be the one to move forward considering the fragile state they were both in emotionally. When conscious thought took over her again, she pulled away and again they just sat there in each other's embraces silently. She had never been this nervous around him before and truthfully did not care for the feeling. She rested her head on his shoulder for a second. He looked at her and said, "You have to be exhausted."

"You have no idea," she told him still trying to avoid the subject. She didn't even recognize what a good night's sleep was anymore. Between her stay at Radley where she actively avoided it, to several weeks before that when nightmares haunted her every time she drifted off.

He got up and walked over to the suitcase that she could only assume he had been living out of for the past few weeks. He pulled out a T-shirt and pajama bottoms, looked up at her and said, "Top or bottom?" She smiled as she reminisced about the first time they had spent the night together, back when everything was so simple. But even then, was it really? Seeing her smile like was the most comforting thing he had seen in a long time. He tossed the shirt to her and she went into the bathroom to change as the infamous black hoodie was the very last thing she wanted to be wearing right now.

She lingered in the bathroom longer than normal. She needed a few minutes to process the situation in front of her. In her head, she still knew that she should not be here. After everything he has done over the past year, after everything he's put her through in the past few weeks, and after everything he could have done to help her but didn't, she should still resent him. But at the same time, she thought about how she got here in the first place. She was forced to go from loving him to hating him all within a matter of seconds when she saw him in the black hoodie in her kitchen. She never even had time to come to terms his betrayal before finding what she believed to be him dead on the ground. After that roller coaster, in her heart she knew that there was nothing in the world that she would rather do than be with him right now. Still she was nervous.

Outside waiting, he sensed her unease as it was taking her some time to come back. He too had just about every thought racing through his head at the same time. The longer he waited the more anxious he became. When she exited the bathroom, she looked over at him and could see on his face that he was just as nervous as she was. They both knew what was coming next; it was inevitable. They were no strangers to one another physically, but somehow this felt different. She tiptoed over to him slowly. He took a deep breath and could feel his heart pounding in his chest with every step she took closer to him. In an instant when she reached him and she stepped into his embrace, all inhibitions disappeared. They both let their guards down and took in one another in the way they had been missing for so long.

_Just Ride..._


End file.
